Punishment
by Sansree0891
Summary: This all all about Dean and his brotherly feelings for Sam. He always puts himself in front of Sam and takes the beatings from his dad and crushes the outsiders to pulp if they dare to hurt Sam. So, how does he feel when Sam betrays him and leaves for Stanford? Pre-Pilot sreies. Small imaginary thinking of how it'll be between Sam, Dean and John.
1. This is who I am

DISCLAIMER : I do not own Supernatural or its characters.

**1. This is who I am**

**Dean's POV –**

I had been posted the job of taking care of Sam since I was four. The day I carried him out of the burning house, he was too small, I was too young yet, I felt it was my responsibility, only mine to take care of him, to look after him, to see that he is smiling always. And, I've been that to him. I've been his father, his mother, his friend and his brother. Dad was always an angry man. He smiled rarely but, when he did, he is the best dad in the entire world. I was not afraid of the dark or the ghosts in my closet or anything else that actually scares the shit out of the normal people. I was, I am and I will always be afraid of my dad, I know that for sure. Because I was raised so. I was raised to be a tougher man to the world but in front of my father, I am a lot weaker than I actually am.

Sammy… he's my life. I've been taking care of him for a long time. I've been protecting him from the wrath of my dad because he ain't worth it. He's a smarter kid than me. He doesn't deserve that kind of harsh treatment. But, I do. Because I know I am worthless. I feel so because all the time my dad calls me 'stupid' or 'idiot' or 'worthless'. He is always **disappointed** in me. I'm sure Sam will one day be disappointed in me too. I'm broken in half due to my dad. The other half still lives because of Sammy. The day he feels disappointed in me, is the day it breaks into tiny pieces like glass. And, no one or nothing can ever fix it.

I'm sitting in the library with my twelve year old Sammy and watching him read. His eyes are so deeply engrossed in whatever he's reading. Of course, he's always a voracious reader. I don't read that much. I was sitting beside him and hoping that dad wouldn't come home too early. Because if he did, all the happiness I'm now seeing in Sam's face will be vanished into thin air.

"Hey, Dean!" Sam said excitedly. His voice broke my thoughts.

"What?" I ask.

"Why don't you pick up a book a read?" he asked me as he brooded over his book.

"Not interested, Sammy. Just finish your book and we'll head back home. We're allowed only one hour per day outside home when dad's out on a hunt," I said, fear seeping into my veins at the mere thought of dad.

"Yeah, I know. But rules are made to break, aren't they?" Sam asked with a grin.

"Not when they're made my dad. We've already crossed ten minutes of our given time, Sam. So, hurry, please," I said concerned.

I guess he saw through me. I could see that he felt the fear in my tone. He immediately closed his book.

"Well, then, we'll come here tomorrow. We'll go home for now. What do you say?"

"Okay, Sammy. As you wish. Let's go," I said ruffling his overly grown brown hair.

We returned the book and came out. I looked at my watch and saw that it was 7:15 in the night. We had to be home by 7. But, we were late. It's not that dad always came home at the told time but, we had to be cautious. We walked to creepy cheap motel that we were now staying at. Our gaze landed on the Impala that was parked in the parking lot and my heart started to thump hard.

"Dad's home," Sam said to me.

"Yes, Sam, I can see that," I said a bit harshly that made Sam shut up at once.

Without saying another word to each other, we opened our room door and walked in. Sam shut the door and held my hand tight due to the fear that was crawling inside of him because it wasn't my fault this time. He knew it was his fault and he had to face the consequences.

"Dean, I'm afraid," he whispered.

"Don't worry, Sam. Nothing's going to happen. I'm here for you," I said grinning which made him grin back.

Oh, God! He trusts me so much that I had to keep my word to him. And, that's only possible if I give away myself to dad instead of Sam. I've always done like that. I put myself in front of Sam and took the punishment. It never hurt me because I always felt contended that Sammy was on the safe side. For such adorable and smart kid, I could simply cut out my heart and give it away if it kept him safe. We walked in slowly and saw that dad was watching T.V with a beer bottle in his hands. I think he heard us. We were behind the couch he was sitting on.

"Why are you late?" the gruff and demanding voice questioned us.

Sam was about to say something and I shot a look to stop saying whatever he wanted to say and he shut his mouth.

"We were in the library, dad," I said.

"In the library? Why?" he asked, not moving an inch from his earlier position.

"We wanted to read books and I didn't know time passed this quick," I said, chuckling fearfully.

It was then the man got up and walked towards us. Sam gripped tightly onto my hand.

"I'm sorry, dad. It was my fault. I should've checked the time," I said as the figure that I always feared appeared close to me.

"It is your fault again?" he asked calmly.

"Yes, dad. I'm sorry," I said.

"That's what you always say. So, I'll do what I always do. I'll teach you to be punctual. And, I'll teach you so well this time that you'll never forget to check on the time in your future. What do you say?" he said with a cruel smirk upon his face.

"Okay, dad. I'm ready to be taught, once and for all," I replied.

"Sam, into your room, now!" he ordered Sam.

"But-,"

"I said now!" he yelled.

"Sammy, go to your room. I'll catch up with you in the night. Go do your home work and don't forget to lock the door," I said trying to keep the smile upon my face.

Sam went into the room we shared and bolted it as I told him to.

"Let's get started," dad said with a cruel smirk again.

And, I gulped the saliva down my throat in fear of what might happen to me. Whatever happens I will take it in and be a piece again for Sammy because that is who I am – a mother, a father, a guardian, a best friend and top of all the big brother to my little Sammy.

He wasn't very cruel in punishing me and Sammy (sometimes). He just remains angry for a short period of time and then he cuddles us again. But, even that short period of time appears like a hell lot many hours. The red in his eyes and his angry features scares the crap out of me.

Now, he's standing in front of me with those very features and I could feel some sort of weird feeling running through my spine. His knuckles were white because he was clenching the beer bottle tight.

"So, Dean," he said and stepped a step forward.

"Yes, dad," I replied with shaky voice.

"Did you not know to come home by seven, as you were told?"

"Sam was reading this book very seriously and I didn't want to disturb him."

"Hmm…. and?"

"And, nothing else, dad. I'm sorry, I really am."

"You are always sorry for everything, son. Tell me one thing; don't you get tired of saying 'sorry'? I just wonder sometimes how a person can be sorry for his whole life. You never do a thing as you are told. You mess it up one way or another and then you say that you're sorry. Sorry don't cut it always; you know that, don't you, Dean?"

I just couldn't reply. I stood like a statue with my head hung. _He always chides me for petty things. Just one day we're late and he's making this a big issue._ Though I didn't like his scolding me for no fault of mine, I could see the concern in his eyes and I know that it is entirely dedicated to Sam and me.

"Dean! Answer me!" he screamed at me because I wasn't answering him.

"Dad, please, forgive me this one time. I won't repeat the mistake. Please, don't…. hit me," I said, fear clearly audible in my low pitched tone.

He let out a deep breath.

"Don't worry, I'm not gonna hit you because you are not a child anymore. You must understand why I force you to do some things. You must fulfill your responsibilities properly, Dean, make sure of that," he said in a rather calm and even tone that made me a bit relaxed.

"Yes, dad, I will," I said.

"Now, I know what you're thinking and I want you to know that you will be punished for your lack of responsibility today."

_Oh, no! Again back to square one!_

"I said that I won't hit you. That doesn't mean I won't _punish_ you. So, you won't get your dinner and –"

"But, I haven't eaten anything since two days, dad!" I cut him off.

"I know. And, you will only eat after this night passes and you cannot deny it, boy. Understand?" he asked firmly.

"Yes, dad," I said in a feeble tone.

"Now, go into your room, wear some light weighted dress like sleeves and short pants and come back here. I need to have more talk. Okay?"

"Yes, dad."

"Good, go and come quick."

I walked towards my room and knocked the door. After a few seconds, I heard Sam unbolt the door and it opened. The first thing I saw on his face as soon as he opened the door was _FRIGHT._

I walked in and shut the door. I opened my duffel bag and searched for my sleeves and short pants made of light cotton. Sam scuttled towards me.

"What is it, Dean? Did he do anything to you? Did he hurt you? Did he beat you?"

"One question at a time, Sammy," I said, chuckling.

"It's no fun, Dean. You don't know how bad I'll feel if you got hit by him because of me," he said which made me turn towards him at once.

His beautiful and childish eyes were filled with shiny water and a single tear ran down his pale cheek. I rubbed away the tears from his eyes that were about to fall and pulled him into a hug.

"Don't you worry, little brother. Dad didn't hit me. He just scolded me lightly. He told firmly that he wouldn't hit me because I'm not a child anymore. So, you needn't worry. Okay?"

I could feel his head nod against my chest in response. Then, we pulled away. But, I still held him by his shoulders and bent down to his level.

"That's my Sam!" I said to cheer him up and he smiled back.

"Go and study now. I have some work."

"Okay."

He went and sat on his bed with his books and once he gets into reading, he won't flinch, let the sky fall to the earth.

I picked up my dress and headed into the bathroom to change. After a few minutes I came out and I was feeling chilly. Sam looked up at me.

"Dean, you do realize it's cold out there, don't you?" he said to me, glancing at me from top to bottom.

I too looked at myself. I was wearing sleeves that left my entire hands bare and my pants were till my knees and cold breeze from outside is making me shiver.

"Yeah, I know. It's really so cold. But, dad asked me to wear this dress."

"Dad said that to you?"

"Yeah."

"But, why?"

"I don't know," I said and shrugged my shoulders.

Sam looked at me with a thoughtful look on his face. It was like he was trying to read dad's thoughts and I stared at his really funny odd face with all his bangs covering his entire fore head till his eyes.

* * *

**Please review. Thanks to all those who read...**

**~ SD~**


	2. Cold Punishment turns HOT!

**2. Cold Punishment turns HOT**

**There is some romance between Jo and Dean in this chapter. I tried my best to put the words properly. I hope nothing is too explicit. If it was a bit of a downer, just write in the reviews or PM me. Any advice would be accepted. Thank you.**

* * *

"Dean!" I heard dad call from outside.

"Coming!" I yelled back.

"I'll go with you," Sam said at once.

"No, Sam. Stay in the room. He might get furious if he sees you out without his permission.

"But, I won't let him hurt you!" Sam exclaimed.

"Sammy, for Gad's sake, please calm down. I know that you care about me but, please don't make this situation worse. Your presence outside will only increase the amount of anger in dad. He won't listen to you. So, just stay in this room and do your work till you are asked to come out. Okay?"

He didn't reply.

"Okay?" I asked firmly.

"Okay! Now, go!" he screamed in disgust.

_Dad and Sam, they always need a minute cause to yell at me. God!_

I walked out of the room and saw that dad was on the couch watching T.V again. I think he heard me come. I don't know how he gets to know that every time. I walk without making noise, yet he gets to know where I am.

"What took you this long?" he asked, not turning back to look at me.

Well, that was good. Because, if he looked at me, the condition of his anger would be even worse with my stammering and faltering words.

"Nothing, dad. I was just changing," I said.

"Changing dress? Well, you take a lot of time for that task," he said, taking a sip of his beer.

"So, why did you, uh, ask me… to change?" I asked rather slowly.

"Oh, yeah! I almost forgot. There's a playground not so far from here. You know it?"

"Yes, I do."

"Good. I want you to go there and sit on the bench that is just beside the entrance."

"What?! You want me sit out there in this cold?" I yelled.

"Mind your tone, boy!" he commanded.

"Sorry, dad. But, just think. How can I sit there wearing these clothes? It's freezing cold!"

"I know how it is out there and THIS is your punishment for lack of your responsibility."

_This is crazy! Anyone would be freezed to death in my view. I wanna smack him real hard. I wish I could._

"I would prefer a severe beating to this one," I mumbled to myself.

"I heard you and as I already said, I won't hit you. So, get out yourself or I will forcibly throw you out. Now, the latter choice will be pretty rough. So, what do you say?"

Both of them are meant to hurt me. But, the first one's less hurting. So, what do I do? I can only have one choice and that's the first one.

"I will go," I replied with tears brimming in my eyes.

"Good. Out," he said coldly.

I opened the door and was greeted by a gentle breeze of cold wind.

"Stop," I heard dad say, "this time, no defying my orders. Do what I told you to do or else you are gonna face the wrath of my anger."

"Okay," I said and shut the door behind me.

It was eight in the night and no one was on the roads. A few cars were moving, that's all. The wind was piercing cold. I curled into myself as I walked towards the play ground. It was just a 15 feet away from our room. It was covered on all sides with a thin mesh. I opened the mesh gate and sat down on the bench that was to the left of the entrance.

The motel was to my back and I was facing the empty ground. I sat there, motionless, thoughts wavering to place unknown. My body was quavering like hell and I could feel the cold. I think I might catch a cold or fever. Half-n-hour passed and I wasn't able to control the cold anymore. I brought up my feet onto the bench, wrapped my arms around my legs and rested my forehead on my knees. I curled myself into a ball. At least, in this way, I can feel some warmth.

Just then, I heard the mesh door and looked up and was surprised to see Jo standing there. Jo is my girl friend. She is a grade less than me. She looked gorgeous with her blonde hair. Apparently, it was covered now as she wore a hoodie. She was covered with all the woolen clothes stocked in her ward robe. Her mother, Ellen Harvelle and my dad are friends. They know everything about my dad and us. They also know that he punishes Sam and me. Well, I feel it's good to have someone who will not leave us in our desperate times and they make that list for me, including Sam and dad.

"Dean, what are you doing here?" she asked.

"I…, uh, I…," I stammered.

"You what?"

"I nothing. What are YOU doing here?"

"I was on my way home and saw you here. So, I came here to meet you," she sad and sat down beside me.

She was warm. The warmth that was coming from her was letting my cold away. It was soothing.

"So, what are you doing here in these clothes?" she asked me, pointing her finger at my clothes.

"I was punished," I said truthfully. I don't keep secrets, especially not from Jo.

"Punished? By your dad? Why?"

And then, I told her the whole story.

"I'm sorry to say this, but, your dad's a maniac," she said angrily.

"I sometimes feel like that too," I said chuckling. She too smiled back.

"I think you should go now. Your mom would be worried and if my dad sees you here with me, both of us are dead."

"Don't worry, nothing will happen. I will stay for a few more minutes," she said and moved close to me, providing more warmth.

**_GENERAL POV -_**

Sam was in his room, studying. But, all his thoughts wandered around Dean. He was worried about him. He only wished he were outside his room.

"Sammy! Dinner!" he heard his father call out to him.

He snapped out of his thoughts and went out of his room only to see his dad sitting at the table.

"Where's Dean?" he asked as he sat down on the chair opposite to John.

"Dean's gone out on an important work. He'll join us later. Now, eat your dinner."

"What did you do?"

"What are you asking?" John said, smiling.

"It's too cold out there to go out. Dean wouldn't have gone out at such a time. Tell me, what did you do?" Sam asked, his voice etched with sadness and anger.

"Stop it, Sam. I said he went out and that's it, end of issue. No more questions. He'll come back after a few minutes. Eat your dinner and quit asking. _This, _is an order."

His voice was stubborn and commanding. That was the kind of voice which Sam feared the most. He shut his mouth and ate his food. After a few minutes of silence,

"Um, dad, where's your food?" Sam asked.

"I'm not hungry now. I'll eat later," he replied.

Sam threw the silver covers in the dust bin and went into his room to study.

John was sitting on the couch and surfing through the channels in the T.V. But, his mind was completely centered upon Dean.

_That poor boy! He must be shivering out in the cold. He hasn't eaten anything for the past two days. He must be real hungry and I punished him coldly. Wait! I didn't eat mine still. I'll call him back now, apologize to him and then give him food. He would be happy and so will I. But, I'll make sure that this love won't erase his obedience towards me. He's such an obedient boy yet I always punish him. Screw me!_

A small smile swept across his face. He switched off the T.V and got up. He wore his brown leather jerkin and left the room after telling Sam to stay in the room safely.

He made his way through the cold breezes towards the play ground and he stopped as soon as he saw Dean sitting with somebody else. The gentle smile that spread across his face a few minutes ago vanished into thin air. Anger, took its place. He was defying his orders again. Now, screw Dean!

_How dare he do this! Was I feeling pity for THIS kind of boy?_ He clenched his fists.

Dean didn't know that his father was right behind them, standing on the road and watching him. He was enjoying Jo's presence, her scent and her bodily presence on his shoulder.

"I haven't seen your arms bare anytime," Jo said.

"That's because I always wear my leather jacket, Jo," Dean replied.

"You look hot, Dean," Jo said with an erotic smirk across her face.

Dean smiled to himself and pulled away from her grip. She sat up straight on the bench. Dean turned towards her, bringing his left leg onto the bench.

"But, I feel really really cold now," he said, not allowing the smile on his face to falter.

"Then, I can keep you warm," she said and rubbed her hand over his bare hands from bottom to top.

"I think it's not a good time now because you should go home and I'm also afraid that my dad might be here any minute from now," Dean said.

"Nothing will happen, Dean. A few minutes, I will stay and we can…," she said and licked her bright pink lips.

Dean would remain strong for anything but, not when he sees Jo in such a HOT mood. Till then, he was fighting the urge to pull her into him and kiss her. But, he couldn't control it anymore, not when he saw Jo like that.

"You must be kidding me," he said, still trying to maintain his composure.

"No," she said and moved close to him.

She kissed him on the left shoulder and followed the path upto his jaw line. She was wetting him with her soft kisses. Dean was still trying to control all the raging emotions that were building inside of him.

"Jo, this isn't right," Dean said with his eyes shut.

"It is right, darling," she said and slid her hands under his cotton sleeves.

That's the end of Dean's control. He knew that both of them were over romantic but he didn't know that it would make him sweat all of a sudden. Without any hesitation he cupped her face in his sweaty palms and lunged onto her. They kept kissing and kissing. He placed his palms on her waist and as the kiss progressed he slid his hands under her shirt and felt her bare waist. Jo wrapped her arms around Dean's neck. Dean was coming onto her as he kissed and she had to move backwards to contain his entire weight. Dean was feeling so right and happy. He never even gave a break.

After complete loss of breath intake, he stopped kissing her. He opened his eyes and so did Jo. He didn't feel weird about their awkward position. They were literally lying on the bench. They sat up properly, facing each other.

"That was damn cool," he said and again pounced onto her.

This time, he reached for her neck and started kissing her. He wrapped his arms around her and puller her so close that there wasn't any gap between them. They were so deep in the passion of the either person.

John stood there, watching them. His face was emitting all the anger. His son, inspite of being punished, took another step in not following his orders.

_You will be taught properly this time, you arrogant SOAB!_

* * *

**Please review. Thanks to all those who read...**

**~ SD~**


	3. Fault is to be repaired

**3. Fault is to be repaired**

**Warnings: Lots of violence that I didn't mean to put actually. But, anyways I put it… lolz!**

_How dare he does that! I must not have felt pity for such an arrogant and stupid boy. Well, pity me for doing so. I'm out here in the cold thinking about him and all this time he was keeping himself warm. I will surely teach him._

John was thinking so and looked around for something and his eyes caught sight of a long strong wooden stick in one of the nearby bushes. He picked it up and looked at Dean and Jo.

"Come home, Dean and you will pay," he said and walked back.

Dean finally pulled away and they were taking in deep breaths. They never stopped staring at each other. After a really long time, they both got indulged in such a long turns of kisses and particularly Dean was going to take advantage of the situation.

"That was really awesome," Dean said with a wide grin.

"Sure it was. You wanna…um, drop… at my home, tonight?" she asked with her face blushed.

"I think your mom will probably scald me if she gets to know about it," Dean said, smiling.

"So, you gonna sit here in this cold all night?"

"No, Dad will call me back once he's cooled off."

"You stay at our house till then."

"Last time, your mom literally kicked me out of the house, Jo. I wouldn't want it this time. She is still pissed at me for scowling at you!"

"You were too preoccupied to know that you were scolding me. But, you actually weren't. You were angry at your father and you knew it, didn't you?"

"You knew, I knew but, your mother didn't. She cares for you a lot and she doesn't mean any harm. So, we'll keep it her way. Okay?"

"If you say so."

"So, you go now. We'll meet tomorrow."

"Okay. Take care, Dean and don't forget that I'm here for you. If you need any help just don't hesitate to ask for it from me. Okay?"

"Sure, I will. Good night."

"Good night, Dean," she said and kissed him again and left.

Dean watched her as she left and suddenly felt something vibrate in his pant pocket. He reached for his mobile and saw that his dad was calling. He felt happy and tensed at the same time. He immediately answered the call.

"Dad?" he said.

"Come back now!" John said and cut the line.

Dean wondered why his dad was angry. He could easily catch John's tone. 'Was it because of Sam?' he thought. He was tensed. He rushed to the motel and swung open the door. He calmed himself and shut the door quietly. He walked in saw that his dad was sitting on the bed in an angry and hunched position.

"Dad?" Dean said and cleared his throat.

John looked up at him. Dean was filled with fright as he saw the red in his eyes.

"Dad, are you alright?"

"Sure I am, you SOAB!" John screamed and got up with the stick in his hands that he picked up some time ago.

He didn't give the chance for Dean to answer him. He just started to thrash him. He first hit him on his bare shins and then reached to his top. Dean let out a scream, fell down onto the floor as he took in the beatings and eventually stopped shouting because he didn't want Sam to see this. He didn't know why he was being beaten. He just knew that he had to bear it.

"Dad, please, stop!" he cried, unable to withstand the striking pain anymore.

But, John wouldn't stop.

"How dare you defy my orders again, you stupid, arrogant, pervert! I was worried that you were dying out there in the cold because of ME! But, you were enjoying yourself and keeping yourself happy and warm with that blonde girl. I don't care about the girl but, what I do care is that you disobeyed me again, Dean. You – always – disappoint – me," John said as he hit Dean again and again.

Dean was really frightened and guilty now. This time, it was really his fault. He couldn't deny it. He was punished and he should not have encouraged Jo's presence. He curled himself into a ball on the floor and let his father beat him. He deserved that. He NEVER disobeyed his father but, he was doing it now. He needed the age old beatings to put him back like he was once – obeying his father, taking care of Sam and other things. He just needed the hard treatment.

Sam heard Dean shout and he was worried. He wanted to go out so bad but he feared the wrath of his dad's anger. He gathered all his courage and marched into his dad's room and he was taken aback at the sight of his older brother. Dean was like a fish trying to wriggle out of the net cast by the fisherman. Sam ran towards his dad with teary eyes.

"Dad, please stop hitting him!" Sam screamed.

"Get into your room, Sammy," John spat.

"No, I won't. I beg you, please, don't hit him," he pleaded.

"I didn't want to, Sam, you know it. Your brother's such a pain in the ass and that's the reason I'm doing this. So, go into your damn room!"

"Sammy, Ah! Just, ah, go – into – the room," Dean managed to say.

"Dean, please. Dad, you will kill him if you go on thrashing him in this way," Sam said and then the stick broke due to the excessive pressure put on it.

_Thank Goodness! _Dean thought and let out deep breath and closed his eyes to let the tears drop onto the floor.

"Don't think this is it, Dean," John said and pulled out his belt throwing away the broken stick. He started lashing him now which hit harder than the blows of the stick.

Dean was rolling on the floor and Sam was screaming at his dad to stop. Dean's vision blurred out and he finally passed out.

* * *

**Please review. Thanks to all those who read...**

**~ SD~**


	4. Stanford time!

**4. Stanford time!**

Dean opened his eyes slowly as he felt the pain of being hit jolt through his whole body. He realized that he was on his bed, lying flat on his stomach in his very room. He felt a tinge on his back and jerked.

"Easy, boy," John said.

Dean looked at him and saw that John was holding a damp cold cloth in his hands. He was treating him. His eyes were filled with concern. Dean couldn't help but shed out a few tears.

"You needn't cry, son. Just make sure that you wouldn't go against my stupid damn orders, alright?"

"Yes, dad."

"Good. Just lie down and Sam and I am going to apply ointment on your wounds and give you some aspirin, okay?"

"Okay," Dean said and lay back.

John ruffled his rather short brown hair and kissed him on the forehead. Dean blushed because Sam was on his other side, treating the welts on his arms, watching them, hearing them.

"Dad!" Dean said shyly.

"What? You're just a little kid to me, no matter how old you grow," John retorted in a funny way. Sam chuckled and Dean pushed his head into the pillow with a groan.

He liked that. The love and warmth his family provided, he just wouldn't let go of it, no matter what. He let his eyelids drop and let love take upon him. He just didn't know then, how short-lived their love was going to be.

* * *

AFTER FIVE YEARS

Sam is seventeen now and Dean's twenty-one. Even after all these years, nothing's changed. The only thing that changed was Sam's height. He looked like a giant. He was a few inches taller than Dean and his hair grew more tousled and long. It covered his whole forehead till his eyes. Dean didn't like that part of him. All his curly bangs hanging over his head made Dean irritating. He asked Sam to have a hair cut but Sam was reluctant in doing so. He had his bitch face and puppy eye magic over Dean and instantly, Dean was on his terms.

Though years passed, the one job that was still on his shoulders was -**_ Look out for Sammy! Protect Sammy!_** His job, his responsibility. It began when he was four years old. The day he carried out his baby Sammy out of the burning house in his very small arms, he felt Sam was HIS responsibility and he never let down Sam. He wouldn't do it too. He'd rather kill himself than letting down his chubby cuddly Sammy.

John was the same - rough, tough and gruff. Sam had expected him to change but, to his dismay, he didn't. He was all the same man who masked his pride over his boys and his satisfaction he had in his heart for Dean. He never let them know. He thought that if they knew that he has been feeling proud of them, they might slip from his cover of obedience.

_Damn obedience!_

The boys never understood him, especially Sam. Being seventeen, he always wanted a chance to fight his dad which his dad didn't like. Both were more like each other and that's the reason they butted heads always. Both were head strong and they had no control over their anger or the words spoken. They don't think before they speak. They unknowingly hurt the persons around them (that's Dean) by their stupid, harsh and mindless words.

They are in a motel now, working on a hunt about a werewolf in Ohio. The boys had got a separate room with two beds like always and John had gotten another room with single bed for himself. Sam argued with not only John but also Dean. But, Dean, like always wears his mask over his hurt like his dad used to do. He masks away his pain like John. He hides his feelings from everyone. He didn't want anyone to know how weak he really is deep down his heart. Only he knew that he was really weak, no one else knew, not even Sam. That's all because he didn't like pity. But, he craved for some concern from either men but never got that one too. He just brushed off his needs for concern and warmth from his family.

Sometimes John wondered why Dean still stuck to him and Sam though they don't treat him all well and good, hell Dean didn't have an answer for that. He just knew being around them to protect them, act like back up. Sam was the research geek, John played the lead and Dean? Well, _**back**__**up**_**. **That was the only job he had in a hunt. It's true that he knew more than Sam and he fights better than John. But, he always played the role of a protector, a shield.

Take the beatings and don't complain. Well, he always took them and never complained. He shed his tears when he was alone in the bathroom. He liked to tell his dad and Sam how he actually felt but, they would never listen because they had their own works and problems. When he felt his sadness cross the brim of his mask, he used to tell his feelings to his car, his baby. It was the only thing (I would say - person), that would hear to his worries patiently. God, he just loved talking to his baby.

Sam and Dean sat in their room waiting for an order from their dad about the hunt. Sam was at the table and Dean was sitting on his bed. As usual, Sam was doing the research and Dean was sitting on the couch, watching daytime T.V. He felt bored.

"Sam, are you done with the researching?" Dean asked, turning off the Television.

Sam cast a glare towards dean. "Do you think it's that easy, Dean?"

"For a computer geek like you, that MUST be easy."

"I am not a computer geek. Next time you call me that, I will see the end of you!"

"Well, then, you're a book-worm, right? Ruffle through the pages of the book that's lying beside you, Sammy," Dean said with a smirk.

"It's Sam!" he growled. "And, anyways, I don't need someone to tell me what to do and what not to do. I know better about that."

Dean's smirk faded away and apparently, he was hurt. _Yeah, right. Today I'm SOMEONE to you, right Sammy?_

His eyes started to shine but, Sam didn't notice because he was back to his work on his laptop. Dean wanted to clear his head. So, he chose to read the book that lay beside Sam. He got up and headed towards Sam. Sam didn't even glance at him. He was engulfed in his work. Dean wondered what Sam was doing so seriously. He picked up the book and walked behind Sam and looked at the screen.

"Stanford University?" Dean asked Sam, looking at the screen. _So, he wasn't doing the research._

Sam shuddered and looked back at Dean and didn't know what to say. "I- I-," he stuttered.

"You weren't doing research about our present case? You were seeing about this again?" Dean asked angrily.

Sam got up to face Dean. "Dean, I always do the research. I needed a break. I wanted to have some time for myself."

"You know what'll happen if we want to take breaks Sam. People die! We need to figure out what's the next move of the werewolf and its activities. The victims out there are dependent on us! And, you chose to have time for yourself, Sam?"

At this juncture, Sam too grew angry.

"Why is it our responsibility every time, Dean?"

"Because that's what we do. Saving people, hunting things, the family business!"

"I didn't like this family business ever! You and dad pulled me into it. I always wanted out. So, I searching for a way out. I got the acceptance letter from Stanford University, Dean. I got a free ride to Stanford and I'm going to talk about it to dad. I want to study, have and apple pie life."

Dean was taken aback. After all these years, he never heard Sam say that, not to him.

"No, Sam, you're not going to Stanford. You're going to stay here, with us, like a hunter."

"Who are YOU to decide, man? My life, my rules!"

"That's not what it is for hunters. No life, only rules."

"Oh, come on, Dean! You want to go on that hunter stream, you go. Don't drag me into it, not especially into your stupid life." He got those words out of his mouth unknowingly and he regretted it immediately. He could see the moisture in Dean's apparently hurt green eyes.

"Dean-" he was saying when Dean cut him off by holding up his hand.

"I know my life's stupid and I know it's not WORTHY of anything. You needn't remind me of that. One more thing, you - are - NOT - going to Stanford, that's decided."

Again, Sam's anger peaked up.

"Damn it, Dean! I'm going and I'll be leaving TODAY and I mean it. You don't want to take care of your life, fine! I won't push you. But, don't you dare pull me into this hunter life because you won't like what I'll do if I'm forced into this life. You'll feel sorry for that. This is MY life and I will do what I want. I don't care what dad will think or what you will think."

Dean was distraught completely.

"Well, I'm sorry, really sorry to intrude into your life, Sam. I thought we had a right to know about each other, you know? Well, it's okay. I won't force you into anything, brother. It's your life so, do what you want. It might take me some time to stop intruding because practically, my whole life, I've looked out for you and dealt with every thing good and bad in your life. Now, it's time to step out and don't worry, I'll do that too. Hell, my whole life I've been told what to do and what not to do and I've blindly followed. Why can't I do this one?"

Now, there were clear tears visible on his cheeks.

"Dean, it's not what I meant," Sam said, his anger fading into the dark.

"I know you meant what you spoke. You know it too. I'm sure about it because I know more about you than you know about yourself. I guess it's time for me to back off from your dear life. Go and see about that Stanford thing. Try and talk to dad. I wish you good luck on that because dad's not like me. So, that's it, then," he said wiping out his face and headed for the door.

"Where are you going?"

"You needn't know, but, I'll come back," Dean said and closed the door shut behind him.

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**Please review. Thanks to all those who read...**

**~ SD~**


	5. Gone in a fraction of second

**5. Gone in a fraction of second**

**First of all, I'd like to thank all the people who are taking time to red and review this story. I'm so glad.**

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Sam stood there, just right where he was. What words had he gotten out of his damn mouth? Was it supposed to be like that? No, it wasn't meant to be. Dean was his brother. He shouldn't have spoken like that because Dean always wanted Sam to be happy, to be contended. He always took care of him, protected him, took beatings instead of him yet Sam always hurt him with his mindless words. Dean was sure that whatever Sam utters, comes just right out of his heart, like from its core. Dean knew it all right because he had studied Sam more than his school books.

So, Dean could tell why his brother over-eats and over-sleeps sometimes, why he would stagger after a deep, harsh fight, why he would frown, and so on. It's just that he knows Sam more than Sam himself. He finds it difficult sometimes because he just doesn't want to know what Sam thought about him all the time. He knows the answers for those already built questions. He just doesn't want the answers because he's afraid that his mask over his pain would subside if he gets to know the answers, especially from Sam's mouth.

Dean wanted some peace so, he shut the door behind him. He wanted to cope up with the idea of Sam leaving for Stanford. He didn't want Sam to leave. But, if the cost of not leaving is the shrinking of Sam's happiness, Dean would curse himself for not allowing Sam to walk out. So, he wanted to think. He wanted to know what's right and what's wrong.

As for Sam, he felt bad for speaking harshly. All he can do is just feel sorry after hurting the people who, in fact, CARE and LOVE him. He sat back on the chair and cursed himself for crossing his limits. But, he wasn't going to give up on Stanford duty. He WAS going to have a talk about it with his dad and decide something or the other that very day. He wanted out very badly. But, he thought it'd be best if he waited for Dean to come back. So, he waited with all little patience he got.

Dean drove to some park, a lonely park where not many people came by. He parked his beloved Impala safely and sat down on one of the benches and stared into the trees that stood ahead of him. His mind swayed with different thoughts like how the trees swayed in the gentle wind.

_Is this really what Sam wanted from the beginning? Studies and some apple-pie life? I thought he would be staying with us, with me, like a family. Guess I'm wrong. He never wanted this. He doesn't want this family like I want it to be. He doesn't want to hold it together. He is pressurized into staying with me and dad. How could I not know about that? He always looked up to me and dad though we fought sometimes. Why is that he prefers college to family now?_

Dean was feeling real bad about their earlier conversation. He was the most strongest and also the most weakest among the Winchester trio. It's just that he never showed his weaknesses.

_Well, if he really does want to go to college, I can't stop him because he's as stubborn as me. I don't want him to go. I also don't want him to be on the verge of danger by forcing him into this life. God! What should I do?_

He sat there thinking. But, he never got the answer. He sat there for a long time. He didn't know how the passed so quickly. When he looked at his wrist watch, it read 4 in the evening. He got up and headed back to his car. He sat down in his seat and gripped the wheel tight.

_Time for the big macho showdown! _he thought and drove.

In the meantime, Sam started the conversation with John. They both sat across each other on the chairs.

"Dad, please, just listen to me," Sam said to John who was deeply engrossed in writing his journal.

"Tell me, Sammy. My ears are all open for ya," John said.

"I can't say if you're doing your own work. This is important and I need you to pay attention dad, please," Sam requested.

John, stopped doing his work and leaned back on the chair, crossed his arms and looked at Sam.

"You have my attention now. Go on," John said.

"Thank you. Actually, I've been studying hard the past few years and I applied for a few universities to study law. And, I got accepted into Stanford law school," Sam said, choosing his words with utmost care.

John's face was unreadable. His face had gone pale for sure and the paleness was gradually being disintegrated by a scarlet red running slowly over his face.

"Hmm," John said wanting to hear more from Sam. Sam understood the tone and continued.

"So, I wanted to tell you that I'm leaving for Stanford," Sam said with raised eyebrows.

"You want to go and study, huh?" John asked.

"Yes," San said confidently.

"What about us, Sam? We're your FAMILY! You cannot walk out on your family like this! And, moreover, you are a HUNTER and you hunt things which are out there in the dark," John yelled angrily and stood up.

"I didn't want this life! I NEVER wanted to be a hunter. You are the one who dragged me into this mess," Sam shouted back at John as he too stood up on his feet to meet his father's level. He was as height as Dean, an inch shorter than John and he's still growing.

"This is what we do, Sam. There's no denying it!" John screamed.

"No, this is what YOU and DEAN do, not me. And, tell me one thing. Why should I be doing this messy job,huh? Don't I have a life of my own?"

"No, you don't! Your life is a hunter's life and in this life we should not choose our-self! We should save people, hunt down the evil!"

"You don't mean what you say, dad. You've always wanted to kill that demon who killed mom. And how is that 'saving people'?"

"That damn thing, killed my wife! That is avenging your mom, Sam."

"She's dead, dad, she's dead. There's no meaning in avenging her now," Sam said rather coldly.

The conversation headed from Stanford to his mother's death. He never expected the conversation would lead to this. But, he continued. He wanted answers for the questions that were piled up inside of him for years.

John's anger knew no bounds. He socked Sam on the jaw as soon as Sam finished his sentence. Sam didn't expect that one.

"You never knew her. So, don't you dare talk about her. She loved you more than anyone else only to have you say like this I guess. You don't deserve her love, Sam," John said in anger and frustration.

Sam's eyes began to water. "You are right, dad. I don't deserve her love and I don't deserve this hunter's life you've provided me with. You can't stop me now. I'm leaving and if you want to stop me you've to kill me, know that," Sam said in a hoarse tone.

"Why are you doing this?" John yelled as he caught Sam by his collar and jerked him.

"Is this what you've learnt from your brother? Overrule your father's orders and walk out on your family?" John asked harshly.

Sam pulled away from John's hold and cleared his eyes. "I needn't learn from anybody. I am what I am! I am not your obedient b*tch like Dean! I will do what I want to do and NO ONE can stop me," he said and turned towards the door to head out.

He stopped because he saw Dean standing at the doorway with Sam's duffel bag over his shoulders. Dean listened to their entire conversation silently and his own eyes were filled with unknown tears. He face was showing mixed emotions of sadness, anger and what not.

"Dean?" Sam questioned in wonder. _Did he hear everything?_

"You needn't call me a b*tch, Sam. I know what I am. You want to leave, then go, just go and don't leave sad memories behind you like this one. I am what I am. Maybe, you were too busy deciding who you were that you forgot what you actually are," Dean said.

"That's not what I meant, Dean."

"You always keep saying that but, we both know what's the truth. Here's your bag, all packed," he said and threw it at Sam who caught with ease.

"Dean! What are you doing?" John screamed.

"Just go away," Dean said with a lump in his throat.

Sam nodded his head and looked at John and then back at Dean. He hadn't expected Dean's reaction would be this. _Surely, Dean hates me than any other person in this world. I don't belong here! _He thought and walked towards the door and stopped when he heard his dad speak.

"If you walk out that door, don't you ever come back, Sammy," John said, hoping Sam wouldn't walk out.

Sam looked at John. _Well, dad too doesn't want me here now. Hell, I do not want to be with them. I could find my happiness at Stanford and my books. _He thought so and walked out and turned back finally to have a look at Dean and his dad. Sam stared at Dean hoping for something which he didn't know. He was hoping for... well, _something!_

"Dean-" he was saying.

But, Dean didn't want to hear him. He shut the door on Sam's face. Sam was heart broken and so was the Winchester family - _**BROKEN.**_

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**Please review. Thanks to all those who read...**

**~ SD~**


	6. Union in Oklahoma

**6. Union in Oklahoma**

**First of all, I'd like to thank all the people who are taking time to read and review this story. I'm so glad.**

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AFTER THREE YEARS

It hasn't been easy for the Winchester trio that fateful night. Well, it wasn't easy for Dean. Sam left for Stanford and he was leading a happy life. He met a girl named Jessica, who took care of him all well and good. God, he loved her to the core of his heart! He would never let go of her for _anything._

It was January 23rd and Sam and Jessica were in Oklahoma. Jessica's parents resided at Oklahoma. Since it was Jessica's birthday the very next day, she wanted to spend time with her parents so, they dropped there. Her parents knew about Sam and they were happy for the couple. They like Sam a lot. They were happy and satisfied that Jessica chose a pretty good man for her life.

Sam and Jessica were sleeping in a room provided for them. It was one minute to mid night and they were staring into each other's eyes. Sam was shirtless and he cupped her face in his soft and big palms. And then, the alarm beeped and Sam kissed her like he was hungry for the kiss to happen. He pulled away soon.

"Happy Birthday, Mrs. Winchester," Sam said.

"Mrs. Winchester, huh?" Jessica asked.

"Yeah, dear. This is the moment, I guess. Will you marry me?" Sam asked.

"Damn sure, I will," Jessica replied.

Sam pulled out a ring from his pocket and put it around her finger.

"Guess we're engaged now, right?" Jessica asked softly.

"Yeah," Sam replied and started kissing her with passion.

He wouldn't let her go. He was tasting every bit of her mouth. He wasn't going to let go of that feeling. He slowly slid his hands under her tank top and and pulled it over her shoulders exposing her half covered upper body to the air. He started kissing her on the neck. Jessica wrapped her arms around his hefty and broad shoulders and she was taking in everything that was happening between them.

"Sam, stop it! That's tickling!" she whispered.

"You are frigging beautiful, Jess," he said as he continued to kiss her.

Jessica allowed him to take over her. That wonderful moment was interrupted by a knock at the door. Sam groaned and Jess chuckled.

"Better luck next time, Sammy boy!" Jess said as she put on her shirt.

By hearing the name 'Sammy', his thoughts drifted off to Dean calling him 'Sammy'. He would always shut him out one way or the other. For a while, he loved to hear that name. But, when puberty hit him, he started rivaling Dean. He knew he hurt Dean but, he couldn't help it ever. He was lost in thoughts of Dean and him having good times and finally ended up with door slamming shut on his face.

_I hate Dean! I am never going to forgive him. _Sam thought so and he came back to the real world where Jessica's parents were wishing her.

Later, everyone slept.

When the clock struck five, Sam and Jess woke up. They got ready and headed out to enjoy their day. Evening fell and they ended up in a club with Jess's old school friends. Jessica was so elated to meet her friends so, she hung out with them discussing their lives. Sam wanted to get a drink so, he headed towards the drinks section of the bar.

While he walked towards the counter, he saw a man seated on one of the chairs at the drinks section. In the dim light, he could see that the man was hunched over the marble slab. It was like he was reading or probably looking at something. He wore a faded, torn, brown leather jacket and Sam could recognize that man from anywhere.

Dean.

_Oh, God, no! What's Dean doing here? Is he Dean in the first place? He looks a lot more like Dean. Oh, come on! Why would he be Dean? We haven't spoken to each other since he shut the door on my face. So, why would he be here? I mean, how would he know that I'm here? If he's really Dean, that means dad's here and they're solving a case. Let me get a drink first. _He thought as he stared at that person.

He walked closer and he couldn't help but notice that he was indeed DEAN, for real! He forgot about the drink he wanted to get and walked behind Dean. He wanted to see what he was looking at. Being too tall, he was able to make out what Dean was doing. Dean was seeing pictures. Sam could see that it was some sort of album but, he couldn't look at what the pictures were. He tried but in vain. He never wanted to see Dean or talk to Dean. But, having his brother right in front of him, he couldn't resist the urge to throw a 'hi' at him. It was courtesy.

"Dean?" Sam called out. Dean didn't respond.

Sam could see Dean flinch but, he never moved.

"Dean Winchester?" Sam asked, doubting if he were really his brother, Dean.

At this move, Dean closed the album shut and turned around and a swirl of wind blew past Sam due the force with which Dean turned.

"Sam?" Dean exclaimed as his green eyes opened too wide in surprise.

"Hi, Dean," Sam said without any feelings.

"You Sam, for real?" Dean asked with a feeling of doubt.

"Yeah, Dean. You want me to take the routine tests?" Sam asked and by the look of Dean, Sam could tell that he had to undergo through the tests.

"You got holy water and silver knife?" Sam asked and Dean took the things out of his leather jacket and handed them over to Sam.

Sam drank the holy salted water and cut his arm slightly with the silver knife and returned them to Dean and Dean did the same to ensure Sam that he really was Dean. Sam sat across Dean on a nearby chair and they had a small family reunion.

"So, how are you?" Sam started.

"Peachy!" came the all time reply of Dean.

"So, what are you doing here, in Oklahoma?" Sam asked.

"I should be posing that question, I guess."

"I'm here to meet a friend of mine."

"You mean, Jessica Moore's parents, right?" Dean asked with a smirk on his face. Sam was dumb founded.

_It means, he knew! All this time he actually knew about everything! He's been following me around and I didn't notice. Guess, he was doing the job dad had given him all those years ago - Protect Sammy! I was a fool to think he'd leave me alone, unprotected, to the dangers threatening us._

Sam was thinking so and he was abruptly snapped out of his thoughts by Dean.

"You thought I didn't know, Sam? Well, I'm happy to see that your life's sweet. I am really happy for you," Dean said, grinning.

"You are happy?" Sam asked, not believing what Dean just said.

"Yeah, Sam, I am. You got what you want and as far as I know, you're going to be a married man in a few months. You'll have kids of your own and they'll have kids of their own. Man, you really deserve this kind of life. I've never seen you this happy before except for that night," Dean said.

"Which night?"

"July fourth, 1997?"

"Yeah, I remember," Sam said, grinning back at Dean. There was a moment of silence and Dean took a sip of his whisky and stared at it.

"So, what are you doing here? Solving a case?" Sam started.

"Yeah. A pretty nasty case. Been on it for more than a week and got no leads except for a few threads which lead to a complete _nothing_."

"You need any help?" Sam asked hesitatingly. He didn't want to be back in but, he also couldn't see his brother helpless, not when he knew that Dean cared for him more than he cared for himself. Dean spoke with the same posture he adopted a few seconds ago.

"No, thank you. But, I can do it on my own. I'm frigging twenty five years old to finish a hunt on my own," Dean spat a bit harshly.

It was then it struck to Sam's mind that it was Dean's birthday that day.

"Dean, it's your birthday today!" Sam spoke loud.

"Yeah, I know," Dean said, still not looking at Sam.

"That's your reaction?" Sam asked.

"What do you want me to say, Sam? You want me put up a birthday cap on top of my head, cut a cake and say '_Yay! It's my birthday! So, let's hang out!_', huh? Those days are gone, Sam, just... gone," Dean said, looking at Sam with a piercing look.

Sam was taken aback and his veins were filled with fright and the sudden out burst of Dean. He could see dean's eyes glisten but, he didn't want to press on the argument.

"So, where's dad?" Sam asked, trying to change the subject. That was a gross topic to talk about.

"Dad's on a hunt," Dean replied curtly.

"He left you here to clean up the mess?" Sam questioned.

"NO! There were two hunts at two different places at the same time, so, we parted for the time being, until the hunts are finished," Dean said.

Sam could sense something was fishy. He didn't want to believe Dean. Something told him that Dean might be lying, may be it was his instinct.

"SAM WINCHESTER!" they could hear a lady call out.

"Get on your heels, Sam. Probably, Jessica is looking for you," Dean said as he patted Sam's shoulder.

"I'll be back," Sam said and left.

Dean was on top of the world to talk to Sam after a whole lot three years. He grinned to himself. Sam's words - _I'll be back_, kept ringing in his ears. He wanted to believe them so badly, but he wouldn't. Their relationship, their brotherly love was just gone all those years ago. Dean knew he wasn't going to get that warmth feeling from Sam, never again in his life.

Moreover, he didn't want to intrude into Sam's happy apple pie life. He didn't want to drag Sam back into his hell life. He had always taken the beatings and scoldings. He had always been on the rough and tough line. But, Sam wasn't. Dean wouldn't let Sam walk on his line even-though he wants Sam to stay with him as one family.

Sam walked towards a feared Jessica and caught her from the back which almost scared her.

"God, Sam! Where were you? I was so scared!" she exclaimed, her voice trembling.

"Relax, Jess! I went to get a drink. Where are your friends?"

"They left. They too have families to look after like how I have you," she said and kissed him.

Sam smiled back. "Come, let me show you something."

"What is that?" Jessica asked.

"Not 'what'. It's 'who'," Sam said.

"Who? You want to introduce me to someone?" Jessica asked in a daze.

"Yes, he's very important," Sam said and pulled her towards the drinks section.

Jessica followed his track towards where Dean was seated earlier. Sam's grin faded away when he saw no Dean on the iron stool.

"Dean?" he called out as his eyes searched for Dean all over the bar.

"Dean? Who is Dean, Sam?" Jessica asked.

"He's gone! Damn it, man!" Sam hissed angrily.

"Sam, who is Dean?" Jessica asked, placing a gentle hand on Sam's shoulder.

"He's, uh, he's my brother, my older brother," Sam replied.

"Brother? You have a brother? You said your family died in an accident, right?" Jessica asked.

Jessica was feeling like a stranger even-though she was with Sam. She wasn't told about Sam's family. Sam never told her. She was lied to. She was felling so sick right then. She never believed that Sam would've lied to her.

"I'm sorry, Jess, I really am. I should've told you that," Sam said, observing her eyes glisten.

"You lied to me!" she said.

"Just sit down and I'll tell you everything. I need you to calm down," he said, making her sit down as he himself sat down across her.

And then, he told her about his dad and his brother. He also told that he left them to study at Stanford and he wasn't maintaining contact with them because he was angry with them. Sam was careful not to mention about their family business to her. Jessica listened to him patiently.

"So, that's it, Jess," Sam finished.

"You should have told me about it earlier, Sam. I do not appreciate any kind of lies or secrets, you know that," Jessica said.

"I promise, Jess, this is it and I will never ever lie to again nor I'll keep secrets from you, okay?" Sam said and pulled her into a hug.

"Okay," she whispered against his chest.

They started for their home in their car. They reached their place and Jessica got out first.

"You want to sit here for the entire night or what?" Jessica asked Sam.

"No,no, you go. Since my brother's here, I would like to spend some time with him and my dad too. Maybe it's time for me to apologize to them," Sam said.

"Yeah, you must do that or else they would have a negative impression over you for the rest of their life. So, go ahead, dear," Jessica said.

"Thanks, Jess. See you tomorrow."

"See ya! Take care and good night."

"Good night," Sam said and drove off.

He didn't know where Dean is but, as he is his brother, Sam knew where to find Dean in that entire city. They knew about each other very well. So, he just drove.

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**Please review. Thanks to all those who read...**

**~ SD~**


	7. Became brothers again

**7. Became brothers again**

**First of all, I'd like to thank all the people who are taking time to read and review this story. I'm so glad.**

**Yeah, I know that it would take a week for me to post the next chapter because of my exams. But, what can I say? My exams got postponed to 12th August and so, I figured it'd be best to write this fic...**

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It was eight in the night and it was freezing cold outside. Dean bought some pie and a bacon cheese burger for himself and drove to the motel he was currently staying at - Green country motel. It was a cheap, mossy and stained motel and it was all he could afford for because he was running low. He picked up his parcels and entered his room, shutting the door behind him. He placed the food on the table and sat down on the chair beside it. He rested his elbows on his knees, face in his palms and started thinking about his encounter with his brother.

_God, he looked so happy and he's taller than me! _That was the first thought that occurred to him after all that happened. He wanted to stay there and wait for Sam to come back. He_knew_ that Sam would come back for him. He trusted him with all his heart. But, he didn't want to stay because getting back into his brother's peaceful life only meant troubles for Sam. He most really didn't want Sam to get into any of the troubles he's currently facing.

He brushed away all his thoughts and got up to get freshed. He picked up his navy blue colored towel and made his way to the bathroom. After twenty minutes under the hot water in a nippy climate, he walked out and put on his pants. There was a deep big cut on his waist. It occupied half of his waist. It was stitched though. It was leaking pus which meant - immediate medical attention. He picked out the first aid kit from his sling bag and sat down on the single bed to tend his 'a week old' wound.

He started cleaning it with a cotton first. He hissed once a while in pain. He was about to dress the wound when he heard a knock at his door. At first he wondered who might it be because he never had visitors at his door. He picked up his Beretta and walked towards the door. He put the mouth of the gun to the door and half-opened it, popping his head out.

"Sam?!" he exclaimed and questioned.

Sam stood at his door step with a sad grin plastered upon his face.

"Hey," he greeted.

"Sam? What are you doing here? How did you find me?" Dean asked in utter confusion.

"Won't you let me in first?" Sam asked. "And, make sure you take off the gun from your hands because I have no intentions to get shot today," he added and chuckled.

Dean grinned back and opened the door and immediately turned away so that Sam won't see his wound.

"Close the door after you enter!" Dean ordered in a friendly way as he pulled out a black T-shirt from his duffel bag. He wore it, without dressing he old yet fresh wound.

Sam sat on the chair, across the table while Dean took his place on the single bed.

"So, what are you doing here and how did you find me?" Dean started.

"Guess it's not difficult to find you, Dean. We've known each other for quite a lot time, haven't we?" Sam said hoping to have a heart to heart talk.

"Hmm," Dean said, much to his dismay.

"What's up with that first aid kit?" Sam asked, pointing his index finger in its direction.

"Oh, that's, that's nothing. Just checking... things," he replied.

"Then, what about that stained cotton on the floor?" Sam asked, looking at a light red stained cotton.

"It fell out from the kit," Dean said getting irritated.

"It looks fresh, the stain on it. Anything happened to you?" Sam asked.

"Just stop _asking_ questions, Sam! It freaks me out whenever you start a questionnaire. And, why do you care whether I'm hurt or good? Remember, it's none of your business. I can take care of myself and my wounds. I don't need anybody with me," he said very angrily.

He picked up the kit and headed into the bathroom. Sam sat there in a baffled state. He knew that they were going to have this 'leaving each other' conversation since the time they met in the bar. He didn't expect it this soon. Certainly, there was something that Dean wasn't telling him. He had to wait for Dean to open up to him.

Dean dressed his wound while he was in the bathroom. _Sam, I'm really sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you. I wanted you out of my stupid, useless life. I wanted you to have YOUR life and that will only happen if I hurt you in every way possible. You don't deserve people like me. You deserve more._ He thought to himself as he walked back into the room. He was surprised to see Sam sitting at his place. Sam stared blankly into Dean's emo eyes.

"You still here?" Dean asked in horror.

"Where would I go?" Sam questioned back.

"I thought..., well, leave it," Dean said and he collapsed onto the bed.

"I know that you want me out of this place, out of your life, the reason I don't know why. But, I'm not going to leave you, not this time. It's time for me to make amends," Sam said.

Dean grinned inside because he was happy that Sam was able to understand his thoughts partially even though three years had separated them.

"You hungry?" Dean asked with a playful smirk upon his face.

"I'm starving!" Sam replied.

"Well, it's your lucky day, kid. You have the pie and a bacon cheese burger at your table," Dean said enthusiastically.

"Ha, ha!" Sam laughed and he frowned suddenly.

"You had your dinner?" Sam asked.

_No_, Dean wanted to say, but, he didn't. "Yes," he said.

"Then why did you have these parceled packets on the table?" Sam asked.

"They are for tomorrow, Sam. You can have them and I'll get some for tomorrow after you go home," Dean said.

"Okay, I'll have them. Point to be noted, I'm staying with you for the night. Maybe I can spend some quality time with you on the hunt tomorrow," Sam said.

"You want to accompany me during the hunt?" Dean asked, with his eyebrows raised.

"Yeah, I would act like help. I know you can take care of things all by yourself but, since we met, I'd like to hang out with you till the case is over," Sam said, shooting his bitch face and puppy dog eyes at Dean in unison.

"Okay, dude. Now, take off that look from your face!" Dean groaned as he got up and walked over to the refrigerator.

He took out two beer bottles, unscrewed them, handed one to Sam and pressed the other one to his lips, slowly emptying the hot liquid from the bottle. Sam cleaned up the mess after eating. They had a fight over who would sleep on the bed since there was only one. Dean reluctantly asked Sam to sleep on the bed and Sam was not on his terms. He wanted Dean to sleep on the bed because he was hurt and he needed some proper rest. Their argument came to a halt when Dean finally lied down on the couch beside the door and shut his eyes leaving Sam no option other than sleeping on the bed. Mumbling something under his breath, Sam lied down on the comfy bed and let sleep take over him. Within minutes, both the brothers were snoring.

**oooooooooooooooooooo**

_Dean was standing in a warehouse, after midnight, with his gun held in his hands. He was sweaty and every nerve fiber of his' is filled with unknown fear. It was a lonely, stinky, mossy, dark, staining warehouse. The wooden doors and windows were chipped off. The walls were discolored, patchy and wet. Algae was forming over the base of the walls. Overall, it was creepy. Dean was studying every detail as he stepped into the house looking for something. The wooden floors creaked as he walked._

_"Hey, son!" he heard a voice._

_Dean flinched as he turned in the direction from where the voice was heard. He was surprised to see John Winchester standing there._

_"Dad?" he exclaimed in wonder._

_"Yeah, it's me, Dean," John replied with a grin._

_"Dad, where were you? I have been searching for you the past three years. I was really worried about you. Thank God, you came back!" Dean said and sighed in relief._

_"Why don't you get it, son? I don't need you. You are just a fragile piece I carry along with me which might break at anytime. Such things are not worth anything. I came here to tell you that. You don't deserve love, Dean. And that's because you always screw up your responsibilities," John said in a harsh and cold tone._

_"Don't say that to me, dad. I came here all the way for you and I don't deserve such words," Dean said, as the water filled in his eyes._

_"Yes, you do! You let Sammy go away!" John said and punched Dean on his face. Dean lost his balance and fell to the stinky and marshy floor. He looked up at his dad as tears fell from his eyes._

_"Sam wanted to go away, dad. It wasn't my fault! It was his choice!" Dean roared._

_"Shut up! He was YOUR responsibility and you screwed it up by letting him go into the world of dangers," John spat angrily as he kicked Dean in the stomach._

_"Dad, please stop," he groaned and closed his eyes shut._

**oooooooooooooooooooo**

Dean was sweating and he woke up only to be greeted by the darkness surrounding him in the motel room. He was breathing heavily. He sat up on the couch and cleaned his sweat with his sleeves.

"God, I can't control this dream! I don't want to dream this dream again," he whispered to himself and got up.

He opened the door of the bathroom and stood in front of the mirror that was held onto the wall, above the wash-basin. He didn't even bother to close the door behind him. He washed his face and looked at his face in the mirror.

"Am I worthless?" he thought to himself.

He rested his hands on the wash-basin. He bent his head low and shut his eyes tight. He replayed his dream once again in his mind. He remembered the day when he shut the door on his little brother. He couldn't help but cry silently. Little did he know that Sam stood right behind him, watching him cry. He woke up to the muffled sounds made by Dean during his sleep. He woke up because he heard Dean talk in his sleep but, he couldn't make out the words Dean spoke.

"Why, dad? Why did you do this to me? Why did you abandon me that night?" Dean said to himself as he cried.

The silence was so deeply set in the room that Sam was able to hear all the words spoken by Dean. He was nonplussed as this was some new information.

"Dad abandoned Dean?" Sam thought.

He was feeling completely new because he knew nothing about Dean's life for the past three years.

"We'll talk about this one, Dean," Sam thought and ran back to his bed as Dean was about to exit the bathroom.

* * *

The next chapter consists of a little angst between the brothers and some truths will unfold. A small note of John will accompany the angst because he is the main topic in that. After that, the hunt will be solved by the brothers.

Good luck to the hunters!

* * *

**Please review. Thanks to all those who read...**

**~ SD~**


	8. Dark secret unleashed

**8. Dark secret unleashed**

**First of all, I'd like to thank all the people who are taking time to read and review this story. I'm so glad.**

**And, I'm so sorry that I kept y'all waiting... So caught in exams turmoil. And, after so much preparation, the flash news was that the exams were cancelled due to some reason. So, here's the chapter now...**

* * *

Sam laid down on the bed expecting Dean to come soon. But, Dean never came. The sobs died down but Dean never came back. He sat up on the bed and saw that Dean was reading (or probably writing) something in the dim light of the moonlight that was seeping in through the windows. That light was accompanied by the light through the laptop screen. Sam wondered what it might be. He looked at his digital wrist watch which read - 11:29 pm.

He walked towards Dean.

"You didn't eat your dinner, did you?" Sam asked, startling Dean.

"God, Sam! Next time you start speaking out of the blue, just let me know!" Dean scowled.

"Why are you awake?" he asked.

"Why are _you _awake?" Sam asked back.

"I have a hunt so, I'm researching," Dean replied.

"Shall I help? I can do it real fast. It's my thing, right?" Sam asked.

"No, thank you, Sam. I can do this. Well, after you left, this has become MY thing. It isn't YOUR thing anymore. So, just go and get some sleep," Dean said, turning away his eyes from Sam.

"I'm here now," Sam said, his voice beginning to become hoarse.

"Doesn't matter," Dean replied curtly, typing something on his laptop.

"Why do you say that?!" Sam yelled, banging his fist on the table which made Dean look at his hurt hazel eyes.

"Does three years of my absence is making you do this? Just because I bailed out on my family, like you think, don't I have the right to know what had happened in the past three years?" Sam asked.

Dean could clearly see the water in Sam's eyes though the room was dim.

"That's not what I think, Sam," Dean replied.

"Don't lie to me! I know you like you know me, Dean! And, I know you are hurting inside. Don't try to 'secret' it like you always do," Sam said.

"You know nothing and trust me when I say this, Sam. I don't keep secrets from you," Dean said.

"Really, Dean? Let me list now. You haven't told me that you didn't eat your dinner, that's number one. Two, you didn't tell me that you've been having nightmares. Three, you told me a lie that dad was on some other hunt. Basically, he's not and he abandoned you," Sam said as he counted on his fingers.

"What are you saying? He didn't abandon me!" Dean screamed.

"The hell he didn't! I just heard you when you were weeping in the bathroom. You said so yourself, Dean. So, spit it out? What happened that dad LEFT you?" Sam said, his voice trailing down to calmness.

Dean didn't say anything. He was so used to loneliness that he was finding it new to have someone around him who wanted to comfort him. The same person who crushed his heart like a glass. The same person who left him to seek a way through the messy darkness he created for him.

"You gotta tell me, man. Please, I beg you," Sam pleaded as he sat down on a chair opposite to Dean. Dean sighed.

"If you really want to know, then listen. Dad was so angry that I shut the door on your face. I knew he was boiling hot. I knew I was going to have a hard time with him. A week passed and he hadn't said a word to me. He didn't speak to me or at least look at me all week. He didn't take me out for the hunt too. After the hunt's over, one night, he came to the motel, wasted...

**_FLASHBACK -_**

_John had a beer bottle in his hands when he returned to the motel where they were staying at. Dean was on his bed, listening to his classic rock songs. He didn't notice John's arrival. John staggered and reached Dean's bed only to find him humming some song with his eyes shut. With all his strength, he jerked Dean's bed letting him know of his presence. Dean fluttered his eyes open._

_"Dad?" he said in wonder as he pulled out his earphones._

_"What are you doing, boy?" John asked angrily, that Dean knew._

_"I... I was just..., uh, listening to songs," he said, stressing each word._

_"Songs, huh? [sip from the bottle] After all this has happened?" John asked._

_"I don't get you," Dean replied, getting down on his feet._

_"You stupid damn fool! You broke our family! You let Sam go and now, you sit here, not at all worried, just listening to your damn music!" he screamed which made Dean flinch._

_"No, I'm worried, dad," Dean said politely, moving towards John. That was a bad idea._

_"How dare you close the door on my boy's face?" John barked and flung the bottle across Dean. Dean was careful enough to dodge. The bottle flew across the room and shattered into pieces as it hit the wall._

_John was quick though. He caught Dean by his collar and dragged him to the middle of the room._

_"It seems like I've to treat you like the old ways, Dean. Then, you won't ever think to defy my direct orders again," John said to him._

_"Dad, please listen to me! I did that for Sammy! He is safe at college. We need not worry about him anymore," Dean said trying to wriggle out from the clutches of his father._

_"Oh! So, now you think he's a burden to us?" John asked as he shoved Dean onto the ground._

_He didn't give Dean a chance to answer his question, the worst question for which Dean had no answer. He just mustered all his strength and started kicking him in the stomach and ribs. Dean was groaning now because he had no fear that Sam would hear his cries now. Dean curled himself into a ball and took the beatings. In the mind he thought - 'Well, I deserve this! I let Sam away. I let dad down. I am the reason that my family is broken. I need to get this guilt out and this is the most perfect way.'_

_Little did he know that whatever he does or how much he hurts himself, that deep hole in his heart will never be filled. After 10 minutes of ribs breaking and bloodshed, John took out his belt and started lashing him._

_"You say he is a burden?" Lash... Dean's yelp._

_"He is your brother! He was YOUR responsibility! I trusted YOU to look after him, to care for him and you just broke my trust!" Lash... Lash... Lash..._

_Dean yelps..._

_John kept on whipping him till maximum strength drained from his. He threw the belt aside and Dean breathed. Dean's face was wet with tears - he was crying. John knelt down on the floor, knees placed on either side of Dean. Dean pleaded John with his teary eyes to stop because he's exhausted and he can contain no more._

_"Dad, please," he begged._

_"You screwed up your responsibility. Now, I screw up mine, Dean. You are no longer my son. You've always been a disappointment to me but, I felt happy that you were doing your one job right. Now that you screwed up that job, I don't need you anymore," John said in a cold tone._

_"I'm sorry for being a burden to you, dad," Dean said as he tried not to cry. But, his eyes flooded._

_John punched him and went on punching him till Dean's world was blacked out._

_Dean woke up after a few hours only to find himself lonely, bruised and hurt. John had left with all his things except the impala. Probably he didn't want the impala because he didn't want Dean's memories to surround him. Dean tried to move, but, he couldn't because a few of his ribs were broken and his body was too sore. He picked up his cell phone from the pocket and casting away all his ego, he dialed Sam's number. It rang and finally went to voice mail._

_"Hey, Sammy! It's me, Dean. Can you just call me please?" he left a voice message._

_He kept his voice as normal as possible. Then, he called Jo. To his dismay, Ellen answered the call._

_"Ellen, can you get Jo on the line?" Dean asked._

_"You call her again, I will kill ya! She doesn't want to talk to you after what your family did to our family. So, shut your cake hole and don't call again!" she screamed and cut the line._

_"Is there no one who cares about me?" Dean thought and then, a person struck to his mind - Bobby!_

_"Hey, Dean! How ya doing?" Bobby asked._

_"Bobby, I need your help. I'm hurt and I can't get up. Please, help me."_

_Bobby has never heard Dean asking for help. He felt so sorry for him, worried too._

_"Where are you, son?" Bobby asked._

_"I'm in a motel named Harvest, two miles from your house."_

_"Hang in there, boy. I'll come." And he hung up the phone. Dean waited for Sam to call him. But, he didn't. After sometime, a huge time, Bobby came into the room and was shocked to see Dean lying bruised and bloody on the floor._

_"What happened to you, Dean?" he asked as he helped Dean up and made him sit on the bed._

_"Received a beating for letting Sam go, Bobby," he said, grinning._

_"Sam was John's responsibility and he couldn't expect you to carry all his weight along with your weight. I'll kill John if he ever shows up!" Bobby spat out angrily knowing that John abandoned Dean. And, then, he tended Dean's injuries._

_"You need a hospital. Your condition is worse." Normally, Dean would have denied, but, he himself knew he was in need of medical attention. So, he agreed. Bobby helped Dean into his truck and Bobby drove. While they were in the truck, Dean's mobile rang and Bobby put it on speaker so that Dean wouldn't strain his body any further._

_"Hey, Sammy!" Dean greeted._

_"It's Sam! I guess you called to apologize to me, ask me to come back. That's not gonna happen, not now, Dean. I'm happy here and please, for God's sake, do not ruin my normal life. This is the last time you'll hear from me and I won't answer your calls anymore, not yours, not dad's. Good bye!" he said and cut the line._

_Bobby was red hot and Dean, he was just trying to embrace the loneliness that was cast upon him by his family._

**oooooooooooooooooo**

"Dean? What happened after he came back to the motel?" Sam asked.

Dean came back from his thoughts.

"He came back, gave me a thrashing, a pretty bad one and left me. I had nobody to tend my wounds. Then, I called Bobby and he helped me regain my composure," Dean said shortly.

"You could've called me," Sam said.

"I did. But, you thought I called you because I wanted you to come back and you didn't let me say that I needed your help. You gave an ultimatum not to contact you again and I obeyed. I guess, I've been made only to take orders from people," Dean finished.

There was a brief moment of silence.

"I'm sorry, Dean. I didn't know," Sam said, trying to clear his watery eyes that were filled with guilt.

"It's okay, Sam. You didn't know. If you did, I knew you'd come for me," Dean said, grinning.

'I did many mistakes. I let him down. I hurt him, I bruised his heart with my stupid words and behavior and here he is, still forgiving me, still trusting me. Did I choose to leave this kind of a brother for some God damned apple pie life? That was so mean of me!' Sam thought as he wiped his tears.

"I guess it's time you slept. I have a little notes to write," Dean said.

"That your journal?" Sam asked.

"Yeah," Dean said.

"What were you looking at in the bar when I came to meet you? Was it an album?" Sam asked.

"Yeah. Our childhood album," Dean said.

"I'm so sorry, Dean," Sam said again, realizing what a blunder he committed.

"It's all right, Sam. Just get some rest." Sam nodded and got up. Dean got back to his work.

"Hey, Dean!"

"Yeah?" he asked looking straight into Sam's eyes. He could see the smile in them.

"Happy birthday, brother."

"Thank you, Sammy!" Dean said with a wide smile. Sam was in the seventh heaven to hear Dean call him 'Sammy' because since they met, Dean never called him Sammy at least once. This made Sam believe that Dean was indeed very happy to have him back and Sam promised himself that whatever happens, his first motto was to keep his brother happy.

* * *

**Please review. Thanks to all those who read...**

**~ SD~**


	9. Staying isn't that bad

**9. Staying isn't that bad**

**I'd like to thank every person who is taking the time to read and review my story... :)**

* * *

All those times when he felt sick, all those times when he felt like he was deprived of the things that he deserved, all those times when he was separated from his new found friends due to their moving around the country, one person was always there for him - sharing his sadness, sharing his anger, sharing his guilt, sharing his thoughts, sharing his heart - DEAN. How, how in the Goddamned world that he could choose to abandon his brother? Was Dean safe due to his actions? No, he wasn't. He had to experience the wrath of his dad for no fault of his'.

Shutting the door on his face wasn't Dean's fault. Dean was giving him what he wanted - an apple pie life - but in the hard way. This meant that Dean always and always WILL support Sam and his decisions. Because, that's what Dean is and nobody can deny that fact. Dean is made to protect Sam, to love Sam and that's what he does.

Sleeping wasn't that bad after all. Now that _his _Sammy came back to him, for the first time in the past three years, Dean actually snored peacefully. There wasn't a night where he didn't have nightmares about his dad bailing out on him or Sammy getting hurt by the thing that lurks out in the nights. That's because, he was not around them, around Sam, to care of him like he always used to do when they were kids. That weird feeling of emptiness was new to Dean. He couldn't embrace it.

Sometimes he used to talk to thin air, not that he was mad. He felt that it could help him in casting away the loneliness and it did. Sometimes, liquor and getting laid did that work too. Now, he saw no sign of loneliness around him. He was complete now that Sam's with him. But, he knew, Sam would be gone the next day because he had his school and his girl friend to look after. He had responsibilities. So, he wasn't ready to accept the complete-ness around him.

"Hey, Sammy! Wake up, man!" Dean said for the tenth time since the sun shone through the window.

But, Sam was deep in sleep. So deep. Once upon a time, he used to flutter his eyes open at the first call of Dean. Now, everything's changed. He's no longer afraid that 'things' would hunt him down. He is indeed peaceful and satisfied.

Dean walked over to Sam and nudged him on the shoulder gaining a startled sit-up from Sam.

"Whoa!" Dean said, raising his hands in air.

"Dean," Sam said, a bit panting.

"Yeah?" Dean said, lowering his hands.

"Good morning," Sam greeted, sending a smile to him.

But, that wasn't a 'good morning' for Dean, in Dean's point of view. The reason is that Sam's going to go away and he had to be alone - again.

"Rise and shine, Sammy. You need to get back to your place. Jessica would be waiting for you. She'd be worried," Dean said as he walked to the table and sat down on the chair, to do his research on his present case, which he had to start and finish soon or else people would die as a result of his delay. He couldn't afford to accept any more guilt added to his previous guilt.

"Yeah, I should go. She'd be worried," Sam said with a thoughtful expression on his face.

Dean felt something sting his eyes and heart - he didn't know what. Probably, Sadness? Maybe.

"Yeah," Dean replied.

Sam got down, set his clothes right, made his hair, put on his shoes and walked towards Dean.

"Hey," he said. Dean looked up.

"Oh! So, you're ready? Shall I drop you?" Dean asked, hoping that Sam would say 'yes' so that he could have spent at least some more time with his brother, knowing about his sweet and happy life.

"I have a car, Dean," Sam replied, much to Dean's dismay.

Well, Dean had that written all over in his fate - UNLUCKY and HOPELESS. That wasn't new to him. So, he let it go. He stood up and hugged Sam tight, like he was seeing him for the last time ever in his life. He never let those tears in his drip onto Sam's shirt. Maybe, he should've.

"See ya, Dean," Sam said with a sad smile. Dean had a lump in his throat and he couldn't possibly speak. So, he just nodded. And, then, again the door was shut behind Sam. Dean just stood there ALONE - all his color of happiness gone, all his gleam in his eyes vanished.

The amazing silence was broken by a ring to his cell phone. He jerked at the sudden sound, but, shuffled through his pant pockets and picked it out.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Dean! How ya doin' boy?" Bobby greeted him.

"Never bad, Bobby."

"Is everythin' all right, son? 'cause ya voice is heavy, boy."

"Uh, everything's okay, Singer. So, tell me this, any problem's haunting you or what?"

"You think I'd call you if I'm in trouble? I phoned you to tell ya that I wanna meet ya and talk to ya about your present hunt."

"I don't need help. I can finish a damn hunt on my own," Dean said with his ever green stern voice.

"Not that ya need help, son. Which kind of hunts are ya choosing, Dean?"

"Why? Any problem with my choices?"

"Ya are puttin' yourself in danger, Dean. Those kind of hunts, they're not good for ya."

"There are no such things as good and bad hunts, Bobby. Hunts are... well, they're hunts. So, if you wanna talk about them, I'm not ready for the conversation."

"I drop it, then. So, I'm in the outskirts of Oklahoma now. Which motel are ya at?"

"Harvest."

"I'll be there in an hour or two. Stay there, boy! Ya hear me?"

"Yes, sir!" he said sarcastically.

"Good." And, he hung up.

**oooooooooooooooooo**

Sam reached his girlfriend's house. He was greeted by her mom when he pressed the door bell. When he reached, his room, Jessica was already ready and panic was crystal clearly visible on her face.

"Hey, Jess!" Sam called out to her.

"Sam?" she said in relief and hugged him tight.

"I was starting to get worried. Why did it take you this long?"

"I'm sorry, baby. I lost track of time."

"It's okay, Sam. So, how's your brother?"

"He's not fine. I mean, he's all good, physically. But, I guess, the wound in his heart is still raw."

"What do you mean?" she asked with a frown.

"It's time I told you the secret I held from you, Jess. Just, sit down and we'll talk," he said, making her sit on the bed. He too sat down beside her.

"We were a happy family until our mom died when I was six months old due to a fire accident. Our father looked after us. His job required him to travel frequently. We never had a home too. We always stayed in motels. So, it was my brother who took care of me, always. He protected me like a dad and loved me like a mom. Well, one day, we had a fight about me going to Stanford to study law. My brother supported in a way that was hard for both of us. My father said that if I left, I wasn't allowed back into the family, ever. And, I chose that. I didn't know what was in Dean's mind then. The only thing I knew was that he shut the door on my face harshly. And, for doing that, for letting me go, my dad, he beat the crap out of Dean and abandoned him, putting him on the verge of danger."

Sam was ranting on like that. Little did Sam realize that he was crying bitterly, like how he shouldn't cry. He could meet Jessica's eyes so, he kept his eyes on the floor as he spoke. Jessica was so surprised that Sam, the strong one she knew, was actually breaking down in front of her own eyes. She put a hand around his broad shoulders so that he would calm down.

"He called me for help and I just shut him out by saying cold words. I didn't know that he was hurt or else I would've gone to him right away." he said and stopped.

"If I knew that he was hurt and he needed my help, would I go to help him?" he asked as he met Jessica's eyes.

"Sure, Sam. Why wouldn't you? He's your brother, right?" Jessica said, trying to calm Sam.

"I think I won't. Because I'm a selfish, stupid and stoic idiot who is unfit to gather relations," he said with grave hatred towards himself.

"Why do you say that, Sam? You are not what you said. I know you and I also know that you would turn the world upside down to help your brother and he would do the same thing for you. So, stop speaking like that."

"It was his birthday yesterday and I forgot about that, Jess. Never once in his life, Dean forgot about mine. Even when I asked him not to contact me, I got his voice message and text message every year, wishing me on my birthday. Guess, he's unlucky to have an ungrateful brother like me."

His voice was hoarse now. Jessica wiped his face dry with her hand kerchief.

"Let me tell you a thing. I understood that you want to make up for your mistakes. So, why don't you stay with your brother for a while and bring back the things to normal?" she said with a generous smile upon her face.

"What?" Sam asked with his hazel eyes wide open.

"Yeah, you heard me right. All you need is time to make up for your faults. And, you also said that you lived in motels. Now that you father's not with you, why don't you ask your brother to come and stay with us in Stanford? The way you described him, he seems like a cool person and we could have company. He would never feeel lonely again. What do you say?"

There was brief moment of silence and then the whoosh of air accompanied by the hugging of Jessica by Sam.

"I love you, Jess. You understand me too much," he said.

"Well, that's the reason I became your girlfriend, right?"

"Thank you," Sam said, as he pulled away.

"I'll be waiting for you at our house. Be back with happiness written all over your face, okay?"

"Yeah and this time, I'll bring Dean too. I'll get ready and we'll start. I'll drop off at the motel and you can drive back to Palo Alto."

"Okay."

**oooooooooooooooooo**

"Take care, Sam," Jessica said to Sam as he sling his bag on his shoulder.

"I'll be back. Stay safe, okay?" he said and kissed her.

She nodded her head and took off. Sam stood there till the car disappeared and later, he walked towards Dean's room. He was shocked to find it locked.

"Oh, man! Not again!" he mumbled to himself as he felt sick to pick the lock every time something like this happened.

Somehow, he got it opened and he walked in. He dropped his bag on the bed and sat down on the chair across the able to read the case that dean was dealing with. Now that he's here, he's going to hunt along side with Dean. So, he needed to know the details. First, he opened Dean's blue colored journal. He didn't waste time. He directly jumped to the present date to read about the demon he was writing about.

_24-01-2002, Oklahoma_

_Dealing with a SUDORC. A nasty creature who feeds off the blood from the people who have been betrayed by their family. It has a period of cycle to kill its victims. It mainly appears to be human, a lady at the most. It has a knack for making out with the betrayed men while in the form of a lass and when it changes its form to a lad, it makes out with the betrayed women. It traps its victims to the nearest comfort it could see and torture them by ripping out every ounce of their clothing slowly and sadistically. After making out with them, it feeds off their blood from their mouths by stressing their outer organs (squeezing them). It is killed by stabbing it, by a bamboo stake dipped in the blood of the betrayed person, through its head._

Sam was wondering why Dean chose such a case. Then, he realized that Dean never chose cases. He went after all cases. But, something in Sam's gut told him that Dean CHOSE this on purpose. The sad day when the door was shut on his face, flowed through his mind. When Dean was telling him about the day dad abandoned him, he could clearly see through Dean what he actually went through then. He didn't know the extent of beating that John gave Dean. But, Sam could picture him all bruised and bloody. Yeah, he and John betrayed Dean.

He was thinking so when he heard a knock at the door. Assuming it to be Dean, he opened the door.

"Sam? What ya doin' here?" Bobby asked, his voice stern and filled with anger.

"Bobby?!" Sam exclaimed and asked.

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**Only a few chapters left and story is to be ended. I really am confused as if how to end this story. Any ideas would be appreciated - sad or good. I will use them in my way though.**

**Please review. Thanks to all those who read...**

**~ SD~**


	10. Happiness isn't all awesome

**10. Happiness is not all awesome**

**I'm so sorry for the longest delay. Been busy with studies n exams. Now, I'm a bit free. So, I'm back again...**

**I'd like to thank every person who is taking the time to read and review my story... :)**

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"Sam? Is that really you?" Bobby asked, confused to see Sam there.

"Yes, Bobby, it's me. I'm so glad to see you," Sam said and embraced him.

Bobby was confused. Sam left years ago. He hadn't even turned to look back and see what the consequences would be if he left. He wasn't even concerned about Dean. He bailed out on him. Bobby still remembered the day when Dean called Sam for help and Sam retorted harshly. He was thrown into a pit deep of anger for that little kid, for Sam, who hadn't even cared to ask Dean if everything was all right after he left. Bobby came out of his thoughts and pushed Sam away.

"What are you even doing here, ya idjit?" Bobby spat out coldly.

Sam was taken aback. He should've expected the reaction. He thought that bobby would be happy to have Sam back. But, looking into Bobby's eyes, listening to Bobby's words, he could make out that Bobby's blood was boiling and he was gathering all his patience not to punch Sam.

"I..., I was here to help Dean," Sam said moving back and allowing Bobby to get inside the house.

"Help Dean?" Bobby asked sarcastically as he walked into the room and stood across Sam.

"Yeah," Sam sighed.

"Dean didn't tell me that you were here or else..." Bobby was saying.

"You wouldn't have come here," Sam finished his sentence.

Bobby looked at him thoughtfully and said, "Damn sure I wouldn't!"

"Bobby, look, I didn't know Dean's condition then. If I did, I wouldn't have said what I said," Sam said in a apologizing tone.

That was what it took Bobby to lose all his patience. He geared up his arm and landed a hard blow on Sam's jaw. Surely, it would turn into a bad bruise. Bobby was landing punch upon punch and Sam was just taking them. because he knew he deserved them for what he did to Dean. he needed someone to punish him for what he did and he was happy to take the pain.

"You didn't know?" Punch. "Well, you should've," Punch. "figured it out!" Punch. "Your damn father" Punch. "wasn't going to take anything" Punch. "in a calm way!" Punch.

And then Bobby stopped. Both were exhausted and breathing hard. Sam slumped down onto the floor, face wet with tears and Bobby sat back on the bed, wiping his own tears. Sam's face was a mess. His lower lip was split and blood was oozing out. His left eye was beginning to swell. His jaw, for sure, was dislocated.

"I'm, I'm sorry," Sam muffled out.

"Well, ya should be, Sam, for Dean, for yourself," Bobby said politely, rubbing his spent knuckles.

"I didn't know," Sam said between his short cries.

"Look, boy, I haven't any grudge against ya. I love ya two like my own kids. Hell, I liked it when you two were running round my house, breaking my things. It's just that ya don't take care of Dean and his feelings like he does for ya," Bobby said.

Sam looked up at Bobby with tear stained eyes.

"Your brother would rather go to hell than lose ya. He loves ya, cares for ya. You wanted Stanford, he gave that to you. You wanted normal, he shut the door on you. He did that because you needn't come back to that stupid hunter life again. Have you ever looked into Dean's life? You think you know about him? Well, then you're wrong. You know nothing about him or his or waht he wants. Look in his duffel, you'll get the answers," Bobby said and got up.

Sam sat there, replaying his life with Dean in the motel rooms, how happy they used to be, how happy Dean USED TO BE.

"Here, take this and get up," Bobby said and gave an ice pack to Sam.

Sam accepted it and got up. His legs were quavering, so, he took Bobby's help. After he stood, he walked to the bathroom and shut the door behind him. He cleaned himself and came out. He was worried to the panicked expression on Bobby's face.

"What is it, Bobby?'" Sam asked.

"Your damn brother is not picking his phone!" Bobby said.

"Not picking his phone? What do you mean?" Sam asked.

"I've been trying while I was nearing this motel. He hadn't answered then, he isn't answering now. It's going to his voice mail. I think..." Bobby said.

"No, no! Dean's very alert. He won't be captured by the Sudorc!" Sam said.

"Well, he IS one of the betrayed men, isn't he?" Bobby asked.

"Yeah, he is. But, not anymore. I'll be with him till the end of his life. I realized now that it's time I returned the favor. I will take him to Stanford," Sam said.

"Like hell you will! He won't come with you," Bobby said.

"There's no chance for a 'won't', Bobby. I am taking him," Sam said.

"You think he's a toy?" Bobby asked.

"No, he isn't. But, I don't want him to suffer anymore, not because of loss of cared ones. Screw this job and screw dad. I will take him to a normal life. He can live at my house. He can get a job at some garage as a mechanic, date a girl, have kids and mainly, have some NORMAL life, Bobby," Sam said.

"Well, I wish everything happens as you told, after this hunt," Bobby said, a smile playing across his face.

"It will, Bobby, it sure will," Sam said.

"So, shall we look into the present situation now, where in your big bro is not picking his phone?" Bobby said.

"Yeah. Sure. My best guess is he went out for breakfast because the Impala is missing," Sam said.

"So, what are we waitin' for? Get your ass in my truck," Bobby said and walked out. Sam followed him and got into the truck.

Within few minutes, they reached the diner that was close to the motel. They started their quest for Dean. Bobby went straight into the diner and Sam looked in the surroundings. The first thing he noted was that the impala was parked in the lot. He found the impala empty.

Bobby started interviewing the people. He went straight to a hot waitress first.

"Excuse me," he said.

"Yes," she said and turned towards Bobby.

"I need your help. I am looking for a man. He's six foot tall, blonde hair with spikes, green eyes, hits on hot chicks. See him anywhere?" Bobby asked.

"His name's Dean?" she asked.

"Yeah. Where did he go?" Bobby asked hurriedly.

"He hit on my co-waitress. I bet they're making out in her car or driving to her apartment," she replied.

"Making out? In the morning?" Bobby asked irritated.

"It's hard to tell when you get into THAT mood, right?" she asked and winked at Bobby.

"Gross! Where's she living at?" Bobby asked.

"You want to find them naked or what? Give them some time, man!" she said.

"Just give me her address, sweet heart," Bobby asked, smiling graciously.

"She lives solo in the edges of the woods, north east and 5 miles from here," she replied.

"Thank you," Bobby said and stood up to go.

"Hey! When you find them naked, don't tell her that I gave them away because she really enjoys making out with handsome men," she yelled.

"You have my word," Bobby said and left.

Sam checked all around and found no Dean. He gave up and walked back to Bobby's truck only to find Bobby heading towards him.

"Got anything 'coz I got nada!" Sam said helplessly.

"Your brother's a son of a b*tch, you know that? He's out exploring a girl's body!" Bobby said.

"What's new in that? He always does that," Sam said coolly.

"Don't you get it, big brains? The hunt deals with lasses who want to make out with betrayed man and drink their blood. Your damn brother fell into the mouse trap. So, buckle up. We've to save him," Bobby said and got into the truck. Sam too got in and they drove to the girls' house.

**oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo**

Dean pushed her into the wall and started sucking on her neck.

"So beautiful," he murmured, pressing wet kisses on her tender skin.

"We've just started, baby. You'll know how beautiful I am when we get under the sheets," she said.

"We'll know each other right here," he mumbled mindlessly and started undressing her. She too did the same for him, starting with his jacket.

They got under the sheets, feeling each other, tasting each other, knowing each other's bodies. When the climax was over, both slumped down limply onto the bed, exhausted from the spent time.

"Awesome!" Dean said happily.

"You're happy," she said, turning to look at him.

"Yeah, today, I am, actually. It's been years since I was this happy. This feel is just good," he said.

She leaned forward and kissed him gently.

"I think it's time to provide you eternity so that you'll be the happiest," she said.

"What do you mean?" Dean asked, frowning.

"I'll relieve you of your sadness, dean. I'm going to kill you," she said, smiling.

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**Only one more chapter left. I'll post it soon. This time I won't delay.**

**Please review. Thanks to all those who read...**

**~ SD~**


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